thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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