she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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