I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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