a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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