i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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