my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
