evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
