4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
