i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
