There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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