I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
