who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
