Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
