well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Boobs are out for the taking
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
