So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize