My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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