No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
