If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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