I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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