If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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