Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
