This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
