i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
