Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
