Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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