i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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