Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
