so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
