She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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