what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well you can't waste a boner
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
