I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
