Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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