it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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