just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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