3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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