So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
