Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
