the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
