sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
