even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize