living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
soo... how was my night?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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