And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
