I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
