so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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