you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize