do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
