That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
