why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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