I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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