I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
