I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
