last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
