Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
