Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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