There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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