sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
