giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
