Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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