Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
