All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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