I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
