Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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