Where did you get a picture of my penis
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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